


they will bring you back to me

by wintercreek



Series: Breaking Light [2]
Category: Merlin (BBC)
Genre: Multi, Post-Canon, Reincarnation
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2011-03-19
Updated: 2011-03-19
Packaged: 2017-10-17 02:54:53
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 622
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/172160
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/wintercreek/pseuds/wintercreek
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Gwen doesn't think she's supposed to remember.</p>
            </blockquote>





	they will bring you back to me

**Author's Note:**

> I couldn't leave it [there](http://archiveofourown.org/works/172149), having done that to Gwen.

Gwen doesn't think she's supposed to remember. If Merlin hadn't gone with Arthur and defied the prophecy, she might have had a new life each time, might even have rested wherever souls go until it was time for them all to come back.

Instead she's achingly lonely every time. She knows exactly who she's missing. Sometimes she finds Morgana, sometimes Lancelot, but never Merlin or Arthur. They're together, she supposes, and have been all this time. Bastards.

It's the twenty-first century when Gwen sees them across a crowded street. They're young — they all are — and Gwen's been expecting them since she found Morgana and Lancelot both at uni. She'd thought finding Merlin and Arthur would be a relief, because it might mean the end of this if nothing else, but what Gwen feels is anger. She turns away and disappears into the crowd before they can see her.

There's so much wrong in the world, so many disasters, that this seems as good a time as any for Britain's greatest need. She'd thought the second world war might have been it; obviously not. Who knows what great fight Arthur's destined to win now, and what Merlin will do. Gwen doesn't know, nor does she care.

Thankfully it starts raining before she makes it home to the flat she shares with Morgana and Lance. No one will guess how much of the water on her face comes from tears, not with raindrop alibis dripping from her hair. Still, Morgana knows something's wrong. She always does, life after life.

Morgana has always remembered, too, probably because of the magic. Lance they have to prompt, and Gwen wonders who else they might find and help into remembering. Are they meant to reconstruct the court? Is Elyan out there, somewhere, waiting for her? Are the other knights? Gwen stays up some nights, picturing their faces.

"Gwen, love?" Morgana says to her now. "What's wrong?"

There's no point in lying. "I saw them," she says. "Merlin and Arthur. They're back." Her voice has dropped to a whisper, but Morgana doesn't miss a word.

"Oh," she breathes. "Then what–"

"I don't know," Gwen breaks in, "and I'm not sure I care. They left us here, Morgana, all alone. All those lives." Morgana puts a comforting hand on Gwen's shoulder, and that's all it takes for Gwen to spill into tears again. "I don't know what's wrong with me," she sobs. "I should be happy to have them back, shouldn't I? Or at least happy that this is ending."

Morgana pulls her into a hug. "There's no 'should' for this, I think." They rock comfortingly from side to side until Gwen calms, and then they curl together on the settee.

When Lance comes home, Gwen wakes at his entrance. "I was hoping you'd sleep until I made some soup," he says. "You two look knackered. What happened?"

Gwen can't answer, but Morgana's woken as well and speaks for her. "Gwen saw Merlin and Arthur today."

Lance sucks in a quick breath. "I guess it's show time, then." He kneels in front of the settee and kisses Gwen, then Morgana. "I hope they're ready to be five rather than four."

"I did think you got the short stick that time around," Morgana says, smiling. "But then, so did I."

"No more," Gwen says. She stands and pulls Morgana up with her, her other hand in Lance's. An old, deep sense memory breaks over her of standing with one hand in Merlin's and one in Arthur's, that awful day, and she finally feels the joy she's been wishing for. They're back. They're whole and young and safe, and now the five of them will save the world. "Let's go find them."


End file.
